We all encounter that moment. That debilitating, paralyzing lack of mental capacity where we all just freeze. A sense of drowning, the overwhelming lack of direction and not knowing how to even start. That is my worst fear, I despise not having a plan or a sense of direction.
The Moment Itself
So I’ve described the moment, I get them from time to time. And when the moment arrives, it’s hard to push past that initial reaction. It’s a natural reaction so don’t beat yourself up about it. I feel like I tend to do this but it’s something we all experience in one form or another. If someone says that they’ve never had to deal with this, they probably didn’t recognize the signs.
In our ever changing, busy lives, these moment become more frequent. Because we know, or at least I get the sense that I should be doing something. I don’t know what but I know it’s important. It comes and goes, sometimes in the morning when I wake out of a dead sleep, sometimes when I get off work and I’m staring at the windshield of me car before I start the ignition and drive home.
That sense that my life is directionless or that I’m in a rat race, just spinning the wheel with my legs but never actually getting anywhere.
Overcoming the moment
The moment itself it unproductive. That is the definition of this concept that I’m attempting to describe is not only an existential sense of dread but also accompanied with a crippling effect. Time is all we have in this life and when we feel this moment, it’s like watching the grains of sand dropping through the funnel individually.
Some people wait for the moment to pass. Darkness or light falls and the next series of events happen in our lives whether we are the catalyst or not. Time is ever changing and this moment only lasts as long as our attention is centered on it. It’s how we handle this moment is what I would like to theorize on currently.
How to move into this moment and recognize it for what it truly is. An Opportunity.
I take plunges into the unknown frequently. Evaluating the overall direction of my life and brainstorming how to change even the smallest of habits so I don’t get stuck too long in this moment.
The Management Part
Anything in life is possible. At any time, a pandemic could halt economies and lives. Or a meteor or some other natural disaster, provoking us as humans with corporeal bodies to react and survive. This is a good thing to keep in mind because when that self evaluating quiet moment steals across, perspective is always a valuable concept to retain.
We are creatures born of the earth and nurtured by it, no matter how commercialized and clinical our lives can become, we still have to remember where our species came from and where it will eventually lay. We experience the journey of life and have control over our own direction and place in it.
To manage that, we have to believe that we have that power. Or going to work everyday will continue to just be a monotonous reaction based on our innate need to survive. To feed, clothe and shelter our bodies. Our minds would stagnate and the starvation of what could have been will begin to eat at the edges.
This isn’t to say that there are not people out there that are content with their everyday work life and believe in the daily habits they have maintained through out their lives. I am speaking about the unrest underneath the surface of many faces that I look into everyday.
The desperate look of a person that is not happy with their lives and does not know how to move past the sense of existential dread of not knowing how to manage their lives, future and personal expectations of what they want to be.
I have the same problem which is why I struggle with this as well.
The Continuation
What I have learned from leaning into these moments is that they help us in a very deep level to evaluate how we are spending the finite time we have on this earth. I have reinvented and pursued multiple career paths in my life and experienced so much. Each change in direction has led me towards a better understanding of myself and where I want to be.
So yes, these moments are nerve racking but see them for what they are, see them as opportunities to really think about the big picture of your life. And that is how you manage your life. That is how you know your time is valuable and spent in the way you want to. We all have anxiety over something and for me it’s the constant question on if I am doing what I feel like is the right thing in order to get where I want to be. That the journey is true and holds meaning for myself. Doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, just so long as you are thinking about what you have control over.
Bella Phoenix 